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This one isn’t about the earth — at least not directly — but I feel it’s important anyway (and there’s nothing that says I can’t veer off topic from time to time).

I saw an interview with the author of a book for children about their first cell phone — when to get it, how to navigate the countless issues, what to be wary of, and other topical issues that kids need to know, but that aren’t necessarily hard-wired into their cranial units. While the tome is designed to be read by kids eight to fifteen years old, the author did offer one bit of advice for parents: “Model good behavior.”

That’s good advice — not only with cell phones, but also for life in general… but I digress (although there’s no rule outlawing that, either — to paraphrase Lesley Gore: “It’s my blog and I’ll vent if I want to…”).

Anyway, some of the good behaviors would seem to be obvious: Don’t talk or text while you’re behind the wheel; no calls during dinner; turn off your ringer at the movies; use your inside voice in public.

I’m sure there are a lot more, but these few are pretty obvious, and I’d like to think that we can all handle them with the appropriate amount of determination and gusto.

But it seems to me that there is one more sticking point that is possibly the most important of all, and one that very few parents seem to understand, or follow:

In these days of modern times, likely the first thing that a new parent does is pick up his or her phone, take a picture of their new bundle of joy, and then call someone to share the good news… and so it begins.

Imagine the following scenario: A brand new baby — possibly only minutes or hours old — and mom (or dad) is trying to establish some sort of working relationship with the little tyke that is scared or wet or hungry or whatever. No matter what, junior isn’t happy, desperately needs something, and is begging for attention in the only way possible. These can be some frustrating, albeit very important interactions that can in no small measure help define what the ongoing parent/child relationship is going to look like, and begin to shape how smooth things are liable to go.

And then the cell phone starts making noises…

Or scenario #2: The new parent(s) and baby are sharing some quality time — love and acceptance going both ways: a positive, emotional sharing that is good for the parents, but even more critical for the newborn.

And then the cell phone starts making noises…

In either case, be it a positive bonding experience or a more challenging attempt to establish some mutual communication and understanding in response to a need, the baby is forgotten, at least momentarily, while mom or dad pick this thing up — whatever it is — and make noises back at it.

And again and again and again… and long before the child has any idea what the noises mean, or has any way to internalize the observation within themselves, the conclusion is abundantly clear: Whatever this thing is, it is more important to mommy and daddy than I am.

Hours… days… months… years — this is a pattern that can start early and continue, much to the possible detriment of all involved. (And we wonder why our kids tune us out sometimes. I’m reminded of the all too prescient lyrics by Harry Chapin in “Cat’s in the Cradle” — written long before cell phones even existed. Click here to listen to the song.)

So, I recommend the following: TURN OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE and focus on the baby, toddler, child, or young adult. This is critical at the beginning to be sure, but it is every bit as important as the years go by. So read a book together, play a game, do a puzzle, go for a walk, just sit on the deck and watch the sun go down — anything that tells your child that he or she is important and this time is being devoted just to them. And turn off the phone!

Right! There will probably be some who will take great offense to this post, but once you calm down, please take back half the nasty things you said about me and then ask yourself: “Is there any validity to the observation, and if so, is there anything I can and should do differently in the future?”

Just askin’…

Anyway, I’ll climb down off my soapbox and leave you with a quote from Jim Malone in The Untouchables: “Here endeth the lesson.”